Who am I to know more about relationships then the next person? No one really but I figure it wouldn't hurt to share any useful tips I may have.
One very useful tool I keep in my back pocket for every budding relationship is called the Five Languages of Love.
What this is referring to is the idea that some people respond better to certain elements of a relationship like physical touch or gift giving rather than others like quality time or acts of service.
To find which love language you, your partner or friends reacts to best complete the quiz below!
Words of affirmation:
How To Communicate:
The most productive way to communicate with the love language of "words of affirmation" is to listen attentively with empathy, appreciation and encouragement.
What To Avoid:
It is best to avoid non-constructive criticism or not appreciating and recognizing effort.
Actions To Take:
Send unexpected cards, texts, or notes with words of genuine encouragement, and do it often!
Gift Ideas:
It's as easy as writing your partner a good morning note, putting a note in their lunch for them to find, with kind words saying what you love about them.
Also see "Reciving Gifts" at the bottom of the page for more ideas.
Picture from @_r0sario on Instagram
Acts of Service:How To Communicate:
The love language "Acts of Service" wants to feel united with their partner even through busy days responsibilities. They find comfort in phrases like "I'll help" or "What can I do?"
What To Avoid:
By not following through on your word, whether small or large tasks this will make this love language feel as though they are not a priority.
Actions To Take:
Chores or sweet gestures that help to relieve their work load.
Gift Ideas:
Think the little things when it comes to acts of service, like: making your partner coffee in the morning, doing the dishes, taking the garbage out or make it as simple as if they are stressed about a chore they need to do, offer to do it for them.
Picture from @thefoodieandthefix on Instagram
Physical Touch:How To Communicate:
Body language communicates much more than words do in any relationship however in this love language it is especially important.
What To Avoid:
Since this love language finds comfort through the touch of their partner, being physically neglectful or going long periods without intimacy can result in relationship turmoil.
Actions To Take:
Use touch to comfort through kissing, embracing, holding hands etc. make physical touch a priority in the relationship as it is a need to this love language.
Gift Ideas:
A gift idea is making a "coupon book" for your partner. Not just sexual coupons (however including those isn't completely off limits) but things like foot rubs, back rubs and cuddling. Other things you can add to the coupon book is a romantic dinner, a week of love (everyday doing something loving for a week) or coupon letting your partner choose what it's valid for.
Get these free print outs at I Heart Nap Time
Quality Time:
How To Communicate:
Spend uninterrupted time together with one-on-one conversation while giving meaningful and genuine replies.
What To Avoid:
Stay away from distractions during one-on-one time like checking texts or emails and long periods of time without quality time.
Actions To Take:
Create special moments and memories by doing smaller activities like walks. The big jackpot is a weekend getaway.
Gift Ideas:
My good friend gave her boyfriend a very sweet and thoughtful gift for christmas which perfectly encompassed the love language of "Quality Time".
She gave him a wonderful card with a "Choose Your Fate" heading. Below there was two columns: one with a romantic day together and the other an adventurous day together and he got to choose which date he wanted.
Receiving Gifts:
How to Communicate:
Thoughtfulness and awareness of what your partner may be in want or need of. Make their wants a priority.
What To Avoid:
Your partner will feel neglected when special occasions are forgotten or the gift was effortless like a gift card.
Actions To Take:
Give thoughtfully, small gifts can make a world of difference. Express gratitude when your partner reciprocates.
Gift Ideas:
Here is an example of what I made for one of my old boyfriends. He had been going through quite a hard time over the months leading up to his birthday so for his 20th birthday I wrote him 20 notes about fond memories, things I liked about him and positivity characteristics he had and example explaining why I thought of him like that.
It was very cheap to make the only supplies you'll need are:
A bottle or jar (<$3)
Creative paper (<$3)
String ($1)
Then you simply write the notes, roll it up nice, tie it with string, you made need to add some glue so it stays, then put it in the bottle.
Not only is this a thoughtful gift but it is also words of affirmation… Two birds with one stone.
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